Pondering Fortunes

Over this last week and a half of being home and making it official with Logan, it’s been interesting to see how every other aspect of life unravels. I’ve had every feeling you could imagine related the our relationship, to recently graduating, new job, and even to having past romantic interests coming forward. The funny thing is, in the last few weeks that I’ve gotten to know Logan and really come to find that Logan is the one for me, I’ve had a few people that were once romantic interests come forth.

I’ve been very fortunate in having dated and spent time with some of the best men out there. I’ve also come to realize I’ve been with so many great guys who happen to be emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I feel like I meet guys and we hook up or go on a date or two and they’re really not into the dating/relationship thing, but shortly after, they’re in a relationship; its kind of like the movie Good Luck Chuck. Not necessarily marriage but I’m like Chuck.

So it started with one guy, then a little later guy number two, then three, four, five, and then guy 6.

Here’s part of a conversation I had with one of the guys.


It was kinda sweet. And I can honestly say, that all 6 of them had a similar response where it was loving and respectful. They all apologized for what they lacked and were sincere in their appreciation for me and for what’s to come for me.

Just with this phase of life that I am in, where I’m just starting my first grownup job, moved, dating a man that I will be married to I can’t help but ponder my fortunes and lessons. I am truly grateful for all moments that have helped me become a better version of me.

  1. I think one of the beautiful things about dating and meeting people is that you carry a little bit of them with you for always.
  2. Change happens no matter how much you want to stay in bed, argue with people, don’t work on your goals, or work really hard to make changes in your life whether it’s with people, academics, or career. It happens whether or not you anticipate it.
  3. Making friends is hard. Relationships are hard
  4. Have some constants in your life. Have a ritual that you do daily, or weekly. Have people that you talk or see often. It’s possible to feel lonely in a crowded room.
  5. Eat. Eat healthily. Balance that diet.
  6. Change up monotony with small adventures.
  7. I am grateful to have civil relationships with past boyfriends and romantic interests. I’ve learned that it’s important to leave on a good note.
  8. Create beautiful things
  9. Conversation will always continue to be important in all of the relationships I have with people. No matter what.
  10. Be yourself. Like, always.

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