Something I Learned About Myself the Last Few Days

This is going to be a story so decide now whether or not you want to partake.


So there’s a guy (John) I’ve been getting to know, and he is quite wonderful. He and I have talked about lots of things and I asked him why he thinks he’s ready to be married and he answered me. Then me to him. I got mad instantly, but I didn’t say anything [my face sure did though]. He had pointed something out that I already kind of knew and that one of my closest friends had already said to me.

He was referring to how I called my roommate a bitch and how she’s probably a clepto because I have random things missing and that other girls in the apartment had stuff go missing too. I had reason for calling her a bitch. A week or so ago while I was putting my dishes and silverware ago she had said, “that’s my fork” and stood there and stared at me. I said, “excuse me?” in complete disdain and annoyance. I told her that I was pretty sure it was my fork because it goes with my set of silverware that it matches. She tried convincing it was hers. I didn’t want to deal with the crap so I just said well we have some of the same silverware. I left it laying on the counter because she was being a bitch and she has too many mental insecurities to deal with it. Luckily I’m getting rid of all of my dishes at the end of the semester when I graduate and move. I had vented to John about my frustration and the principle of it.

Basically he was telling me that I am a bit impatient especially with people, I don’t give people the benefit of the doubt enough and I’m short-tempered. Also that these are the things that he thinks makes him more ready for marriage than me. And yes, I already know a lot of these things. Buuuuuut, he doesn’t realize he’s not there for all of the roommates terrible sides. He only gets to see her nice and polite side when he comes over. He forgets that he is still getting to know me. He forgets that I am not a soulless bitch myself. I was very offended.

I am a considerate person. I really am. I know I don’t give people the benefit of the doubt enough. I have a hard time with it. I think it’s ridiculous when people make excuses or blame it on life, others, mental or physical limitations. I do take it in consideration but there are aspects where some individuals are being selfish and acting as if the world is entitled to cater to their needs and demands and existence. Also, though I know she has anxiety issues she had been rude and passive aggressive enough to me that I just brushed off I got sick of it.

I struggle with giving people the benefit of the doubt because I personally try to be a consistent person outwardly and internally. I generally say what I mean and mean what I say. I share things that are going on in my life with others. I often forget that others aren’t the same. Which is something that I’ll have to work on.


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